


Schadenfreude

by EHSparkwoman



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Collars, Drunken Shenanigans, Food Play, Gen, Hangover, Hazing, I'm going on The List for this, Naked Cuddling, Public Humiliation, Public Nudity, Sexual Themes, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26377558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHSparkwoman/pseuds/EHSparkwoman
Summary: When a mech or femme gains a promotion to officer in the Decepticons; they get to attend an ‘officers only party’. Of course; this actually means they have to undergo the standard initiation. This is Tarn’s (and the rest of the D.J.D.’s). Or, a silly fic wherein the D.J.D. get drunk and do things they’ll regret later.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Schadenfreude

**Author's Note:**

> Schadenfreude (noun): pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.  
> Bold speech is in Primal Vernacular. And Forestock is Vos because I don’t know the name the D.J.D. knew Dominus-Vos as; and I don’t want to make something up and be wrong.

“Uh, Tarn… Did I pick your pad up by mistake or something?”

“No Scissorsaw; you didn’t.” Tarn waved his own data pad at his new team mate.

“Come on Tarn; you’re supposed to call us by our new names.”

“I will Amp. In public.” Tarn informed him.

“Alright then. Does that mean we can call you Glitch?”

“In private, Crucible.” Tarn answered him.

“Did we all get invited?” Tesarus asked. Tarn nodded at him. Based on everyone else’s reactions; they’d all been invited to the officers party too.

“Does that mean I’m an officer now?” Helex asked.

“I think they just invited all of us because… Megatron wants us to be known to the rest of the officers.” _I think._ Tarn added in his head.

“To frighten Starscream, you mean.” Kaon grinned; his golden coloured optics glinting in glee.

“Yeah. **That fragger deserves it!** ” Vos giggled at the end of what he was saying. In spite of his small size; it wasn’t cute, not even a little bit.

“Of course he does, Forestock.” Tarn agreed.

“Come on, let’s go!” Tesarus had got up; bored of sitting around now he _knew_ there was something to do. The others did too; it wasn’t long until the next officers’ party after all.

XxX

“How come I’m stuck doing door duty?” Skywarp moaned into his com-link.

“Maybe because you decided to cover Starscream in pink paint?” Thundercracker answered from his room. He sounded a little annoyed; because he was trying to read, dammit Skywarp!

“Come on, that was funny!” Skywarp grinned.

“To you maybe. Starscream didn’t see the funny side.”

“Starscream never sees the funny side of anything, T.C.” Skywarp answered; prompting a growl from his friend.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Fine. I’m right though, Thundercracker, aren’t I?” Skywarp heard an annoyed sounding yes and grinned.

“Maybe, if he stopped running around trying to get Megatron’s attention, he’d actually have a sense of humour.”

“Who would?” Skywarp flicked his com-link off in surprise. Starscream had appeared behind him.

“Uh… Overlord?” Skywarp answered; not daring to answer with who he was actually talking about. The last thing he needed was another Starscream rant.

“Well, you have a good point. Have fun playing door guardian Skywarp.” Starscream waved as he walked through the door. Skywarp glared at the Air Commander’s back as he headed inside.

“Fragging aft.” He muttered, before turning back around and watching the corridor. He felt a shiver go down his back when he saw the five mechs coming along the corridor. They looked like something out of a horror movie.

“Uh… Can I help you?” He asked nervously. The purple coloured one turned to him. Skywarp saw a Decepticon insignia covering this mech’s face. _Suck up._ Skywarp thought; hoping that none of these freaks could read his mind.

“You should find our names on your list, door-mech.” Skywarp felt his spark shiver. This mech’s voice was doing something to it.

“What... names would those be?” Skywarp asked.

“Tarn.” Answered the purple mech and Skywarp felt his energon go cold.

“Kaon.” Answered a red mech with somethings that had electricity crackling up them on his shoulders.

“Helex.” The blue and yellow mech licked his lips; like he was considering whether Skywarp would taste good.

“Tesarus.” Skywarp jumped; the blades on this mech’s tummy turned around.

“Vos.” The smallest, but no less terrifying, mech answered him. Skywarp didn’t want to run away screaming; but it was very hard to resist the urge. _They’re the D.J.D.! Did Starscream send them for me because of that prank? I’m too young to die!_ Skywarp shivered.

“Are… Are… you here because someone told you to be?” He asked; stuttering over his words.

“We’re here because we have an invitation.” Kaon told him; his optics glittering.

“Not for work?” Skywarp asked; sounding a little nervous.

“ **It’s an officers’ party, not murder on the dancefloor.** ” Vos said; sounding flippant. Tarn snorted; trying not to laugh.

“We’re not here to kill anyone.” Tarn managed to say without laughing.

“Nah; it’s a party. And that’s what we’re here to do.” Tesarus informed Skywarp. All of them sniggered at the black and purple mech sighing in relief. He flicked over his data-pad and found their names.

“You five are the last mechs to go in. Guess that means my job is done.” Skywarp headed off; no longer needed to mark mechs off as they got there. The justice division looked a little worried but headed inside.

“Ah. Just the mechs we’ve been waiting for.” Megatron smirked. So did everyone else in the room.

“Welcome to the officers ranks, rookies!” A very smug sounding Overlord shouted at them.

“Um… thanks I guess?” Helex scratched the back of his head in confusion.

“You haven’t even realised what this is for, have you?” Starscream asked knowingly. All of the justice division shook their heads.

“We don’t throw parties for new officers.” Sixshot informed them.

“Then… what’s this?” Tesarus sounded really confused.

“Your initiation.” Soundwave informed them.

“What that?” Vos asked, nervously.

“In order to prove you are an officer, you have to pass our test.” Shockwave informed them. He sounded rather smug. The justice division felt a little bit like a group of petro-rabbits surrounded by turbofoxes.

“What kind of test?” Tarn hoped it wasn’t an exam. He didn’t do too well at those; something about the pressure. All of them noticed Black Shadow pouring some very strong looking Engex into regular cubes.

“Come over here, and you might find out boys.” Black Shadow put down a fifth cube on the table and gestured for them to come over. All of them made their way over and looked nervously at the cubes sitting on the table. Said cubes were only about half full.

“This stuff normally goes in shot glasses. These would be a triple shot.” Black Shadow informed them with an evil smirk. He saw Kaon shudder. Tesarus and Helex did too.

“We… each have to drink this?” Tarn asked; a little nervously. He could smell how strong these drinks were.

“No, you each have to drink this!” Black Shadow gestured over the five half-filled cubes.

:: FIVE?! I’m going to end up on the floor! :: Kaon shouted down their link.

:: Not if you keep your F.I.M. chip active Kaon. :: Tarn told him; fully intending to do just that himself. The last thing he needed was the humiliation of saying something to Megatron while he was completely sloshed.

“Oh, and wear these.” Starscream held up bright purple collars with a Decepticon insignia hanging from them.

“What… for?” Vos asked.

“Because new officers are our pets.” Overlord smirked at them. Sixshot and Black Shadow sniggered. All five of them looked a little reluctant, but took one of the collars from Starscream.

“You’re not gonna make us do tricks, are you?” Tesarus asked nervously. He and the other four had yet to don their collars.

“Not yet.” Starscream grinned evilly. Vos shivered; he and his team mates clipping the collars around their necks. They all felt something in their bodies shut off as soon as the collar snapped shut.

“Did you guys feel that?” Helex asked.

“Oh, that? That would be your F.I.M. chips switching off.” Shockwave informed them; sounding rather pleased with himself.

“So no cheating, wusses!” Black Shadow goaded them. Tesarus swallowed.

“Can I tell you how… delectable those collars make you look?” Overlord teased; knowing the five of them didn’t seem to like the attention.

“Frag off.” Helex growled; prompting more laughs.

“You gonna drink those now, wusses?” Black Shadow asked; sliding the cubes forward so he could pour more half full cubes. Vos grumbled something in Primal Vernacular.

“He needs a straw, and so do I.” Tarn informed Black Shadow.

“Tarn, I know for a fact you have a mouth under that mask.” Megatron smirked.

“Does he now?” Starscream looked intrigued.

“Take it off!” Sixshot shouted. Everyone else joined in. The rest of justice division got a message.

:: No! I can’t show them my face! ::

“Are you a coward?” Black Shadow asked.

“Or a femme?” Starscream laughed.

“Bet she is! That’s why she’s so nervous!” Sixshot joined in. Tarn pulled his mask off and laid it on the table beside the cubes. Black Shadow wolf-whistled.

“Nuh-uh! He’s a mech, and he’s handsome!” Tarn shivered; sure the mech was joking. He knew how badly disfigured his face was from an attack Grimlock did. Black Shadow plonked a straw into Vos’ drink.

“Drink up boys!” Each of them looked warily at the cubes. Vos retracted the plate on the back of his neck and put the other end of the straw in the induction port. Each of the other four picked up their cube.

:: Seriously, I think one of these things will be enough to get me drunk. :: Kaon winced at the smell. He was sure a similar smelling substance was used to strip paint off frames.

:: **It’s good stuff.** :: Vos had already started drinking his. Tarn took a sip of his and felt it burn all the way down his throat. He was going to need a tank flush tomorrow, or worse; he just knew it. That stuff was strong. Tesarus and Helex managed a small sip as well.

:: Frag that’s strong. :: Both of them said at the same time.

:: I’m going to end up passed out on the floor drinking this, aren’t I? :: Kaon asked. He took a sip as well and had to try very hard not to spit it back out. It burned his tongue.

“What’s the matter little one?” Overlord asked teasingly. Kaon ignored him.

“Too strong for you, lightweight?” Starscream teased. Kaon swallowed; feeling the fuel burn all the way down his throat and into his tank.

:: This stuff is going to make us sick. ::

:: You can’t throw it back up, Kaon. :: Tesarus implored him.

:: It makes you look weak. :: Helex informed him.

:: Make sure I don’t choke on acid then when I pass out drunk. ::

:: Have a little faith Kaon. :: Tarn tried to reassure his smaller team mate.

“ **You lot need to catch up.** ” Vos informed them; lifting up his first, now empty, cube. Kaon was trying to work out how Vos could possibly be drinking it so fast.

:: **Don’t think about how strong it is and just drink it.** :: Vos offered helpfully.

:: It’ll show all of them teasing you that you aren’t weak. :: Tarn informed Kaon; who swished the glass around, watching the liquid move around. He put the cube to his lips before he could think better of it. The liquid still burned all the way down his throat; but he didn’t focus on that. He was more focused on swallowing the fuel. Kaon slammed down the cube on the table; turning a glare on Overlord, then Starscream. The cube was empty; as though saying ‘does this look like a lightweight to you?’

“He’s a feisty cub!” Sixshot sniggered. Tesarus, Tarn and Helex had laid an empty cube on the table as well.

“Four more to go cubs.” Shockwave informed them. The justice division pondered why the others were calling them cubs.

:: Are they… seriously calling us that because they’re going to treat us like young turbofoxes? :: Kaon hoped not. The others did too. Black Shadow slid five cubes over to the five mechs and grabbed the empties.

“Down it!” Black Shadow chanted; slamming his fist on the table repeatedly. The others joined in. The justice division shared a worried look; before lifting their cubes to their lips. Vos picked his cube up too. All of them quickly gulped down the fuel; their tanks feeling a little funny afterwards. Vos was the only one who didn’t seem bothered by how strong it was. Kaon knew all of his vents had cracked open to try and dispel the fumes; but didn’t care. He’d appreciate not falling to the floor and being laughed at by everyone else.

“You lot can’t be feeling the effects already.” Sixshot remarked in disbelief.

“You ain’t even half way through yet!” Black Shadow grinned.

“Lightweights.” Overlord smirked.

“Guess the cubs need a break.” Starscream grinned; almost daring them to stop. Tarn glared back. He wasn’t being laughed at by those two backstabbing brats. He picked up the third cube and gulped it down as quickly as possible. He immediately regretted it when the fuel hit his tank. _Don’t throw up or cough…_ Tarn willed his body to obey. He slammed the cube down; before glancing to see what the others were doing. All but Vos had slammed their cubes down on the table as well. Vos’ cube was almost empty; it took longer to suck the fuel up the straw.

:: I feel kinda dizzy… :: Kaon warned them. He was willing his body not to shake.

:: **You lot really are lightweights.** :: Vos sent over com; prompting squawks of outrage down the com line.

:: You can actually taste that fuel, can’t you? ::

:: It’s strong enough to strip paint. :: Tesarus and Helex both complained.

:: **Oh I can taste it. It’s really good stuff. Might be a little tipsy though…** :: Vos giggled. All of them moved to the fourth cube.

:: We’re going to regret this, aren’t we? :: Tesarus asked; not expecting an answer.

:: Oh, I’m already regretting it. I’m not quite drunk enough not to care yet. :: Tarn informed him.

:: Eh… what comes later is a problem for future us! :: Kaon informed them; sounding a little crazy. But, he was a self-confessed lightweight; and hence had to be drunk already. All of them realised then the cube they were drinking from was empty. Vos knew how that had happened; but the other four didn’t. It was… worrying.

“Last one, cubs.” Shockwave informed them. He’d noticed the shakes in four of them; but not, surprisingly, Vos. That mech could apparently hold his high grade. All five of them picked their cube up and lightly touched them together, before knocking it back too. The only sound was the straw trying to get the last dregs out of the cube. Apparently; these mechs could actually hold their drink. Starscream was a little annoyed; he’d spewed his after downing the fifth. Thankfully, only Megatron, Soundwave and Shockwave had seen that, and they weren’t telling; not after what they’d done themselves that night.

“Like, what happen to the lights in here? Everything’s all swirly…” Kaon stood up and spun around. The fluid sloshed around in his tank; but he didn’t purge.

“Think you need your sight tested little one!” Soundwave teased.

“Nuh uh! Everything swirly! Guess that what it mean to be blind drunk!” Kaon giggled.

“I’m such a lightweight!” He informed them.

“That’s step one of your initiation over.” Shockwave informed him; knowing fine well what step two was. He’d given Soundwave a lap dance as part of his step two. But Starscream had made out with Megatron; so it was fine. None of them were going to tell of what they did on their initiations.

“Like, are there lotsa steps to this? Cos I’m kinda sleepy right now.” Tesarus told them; slurring his words quite badly.

“Just two.” Starscream informed him; smirking wickedly. Step two was the stage they all regretted but never mentioned.

“Each of us is gonna tell you to do something. Which you must do, or you fail.” _And they’re drunk enough that they’ll do whatever we tell ‘em without question._ Black Shadow added in his head. He was going to film every second of it; and leave the footage for them to find in the morning.

“Most recent goes first, right?” Overlord asked. Megatron nodded; prompting cheers from him, Sixshot and Black Shadow.

“Are you five our pets?” Sixshot asked, a little nonchalantly. He received five enthusiastic nods from the justice division.

“What trick you wanting me to do, love?” Tarn asked, winking at Sixshot. Sixshot almost asked Tarn to suck his spike; but remembered the one rule. The new officers weren’t allowed to perform sexual acts while drunk; not even to each other or themselves. Suggestive acts were fair game, and based on what Overlord had just commed… they were going to be performing at least one.

“Turbofoxes walk on all fours don’t they?” Black Shadow asked; getting a com from Overlord about wanting to check out their afts. All five of them knelt down, shaking their rears and panting like they actually were turbofoxes. That got a few laughs from Starscream and Overlord. These mechs were supposed to be the terrifying Decepticon Justice Division?

“Pretend I’m your mate, and you’re in heat. Keep your plates closed though.” Black Shadow grinned.

:: Yeah, I do Overlord. I want to have the knowledge I got the D.J.D. to present their afts for me like animals in heat. :: Overlord grinned. Black Shadow fished out what he was going to use to record the whole thing and the others snorted.

“How’d ya guess? I _love_ doing this…” Kaon informed them, before lowering his head and lifting his rear. The other four followed suit; Vos slightly more slowly than the others. He was drunk; but still had a tiny little voice in his head telling him not to do it. He had a much louder voice telling the tiny voice to shut up; it was fun, and everyone else was enjoying what he was doing.

“Does my mate like what he sees?” Helex asked; wiggling his rear back and forth. _Very much so. I’d prefer you naked, but… rules are rules and that’s a no-no. They might ask for a frag; and we can’t accept ‘cos they’re drunk._ Black Shadow didn’t answer.

“ **Have we been naughty boys?** ” Vos asked; before he could stop himself.

“Hope so… love getting spanked.” Helex remarked.

“Me too!” Kaon giggled; everyone could tell he was the worst off out of the five of them.

“Come here cubs!” Sixshot gestured and the justice division all crawled over to him.

“I’d quite like all of you to roll over so I can tickle your tummies.” He was smirking behind the mask.

“Should warn ya I’m ticklish then.” Tesarus told Sixshot, before complying.

“Ooh! So am I! Right here!” Kaon rubbed his fingers over the metal just below his turbine. Sixshot made a mental note _not_ to touch the red mech there. He was giggly enough already. Sixshot rubbed Vos’ tummy first; noting the smaller mech didn’t flinch at all. Tarn was next; and he did shiver. _Maybe he’s ticklish too._ Sixshot wiggled his fingers again; prompting Tarn to bite his lip and grin at him.

“You ticklish?” Soundwave decided to ask. He was more curious if Tarn would admit it.

“Yes. Want me to hold my arms up so you can tickle me?” Tarn lifted his arms above his head; trying to coax Soundwave into joining in. Sixshot moved on to the next one and Soundwave didn’t answer. Helex didn’t flinch either; so he moved on to Tesarus. The larger mech bit his lip with a grin when Sixshot touched him on his tummy below the grinding blades.

“Where does it tickle most?” Sixshot asked.

“Right where your fingers are. You can tickle me if you like though; I can take it for a little while.” Tesarus informed him.

“Would you beg for mercy?” Megatron asked.

“Would you?” Tesarus asked back; too sloshed to realise he was back chatting his leader.

“No. But then again; I’m not ticklish.” Megatron answered; ignoring the insolence. There was no point lecturing a drunk mech anyway.

“I might from you, master. I’d try not to if you asked me to.” Tesarus informed him. Sixshot moved away; confusing the larger mech.

“My turn!” Kaon lifted his hands above his head; exposing his belly.

“Think he wants it!” Shockwave sounded amused; a very rare thing.

“Oh yes! I want it!” Kaon shouted; making the other mechs laugh. Sixshot rubbed the smaller mech’s tummy; right above his…

“Oh! Was it a yoofie-mizum? You wanna tickle my valve?” Kaon spread his legs wider; about to retract the plating covering him. Everyone except Shockwave laughed at Sixshot’s squawk in response, but they could tell Shockwave was amused too.

“Keep your plates closed, cub! And it wasn’t a euphemism.” Sixshot’s cheeks heated at how… _eager_ the red mech was being.

:: Really, you got one of the D.J.D. almost begging you to frag him and you said no? :: Overlord remarked.

:: He’s admitted he’s blind drunk. Do you think he can give consent for anything right now? :: Sixshot answered back; a little cross.

:: Drunk mechs cannot give consent Overlord. You know Megatron’s rule. :: Soundwave told him off; having read Overlord’s thoughts. Sixshot moved away from the smaller mech. All of them got back up on to their knees.

“Come here.” Overlord pointed at his feet. All of them crawled over; not very aware what they were doing right now. They only knew they should do as they were told to pass a test.

“Sit.” All of them rested on their haunches like they were turbofoxes.

“Stick out your tongues.” Each of them did; Overlord feeling a bolt go down his spine seeing the length of Helex’s. Vos shook his head.

“He doesn’t have one. It’s why he needed a straw to drink the high grade, Overlord.” Megatron informed him. Overlord shrugged.

“Fine. He can help with the first part then.” Overlord lay down on his back.

“Pour this over me Vos.” Overlord pointed at a rather large cube of fluid. It was sweet tasting energon; but they weren’t to know that yet. Vos made his way over to do so. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what Overlord was going to make the other four do. The larger mech shivered; the energon was a little cold.

:: Don’t you think that’s a bit much? :: Megatron asked, sounding a little annoyed.

:: If I recall correctly, didn’t someone make me perform this on you? Besides, I’m not going to expose my spike or valve! :: Overlord informed Megatron; annoyed that Megatron would think he was trying to break the rules.

:: Shockwave did, if I recall correctly. And make sure you don’t. :: Megatron growled. Overlord shivered as the last drops landed on him; right over his spike panel and inner thighs. This would be a challenge; but he wasn’t in the habit of backing down from those.

“You four, clean it off.” Tarn looked a little confused, as did the others.

“Why would you make Vos cover you in that if you wanted us to clean it off you?” Tesarus asked. Overlord waited for them to make their way over beside him. They had wrongly assumed the large mech was going to give them something to clean it off with. Overlord saw all of them lift their fingers.

“Use only your tongues.” Helex shivered.

“You know how much I like doing that?” He asked; immediately licking Overlord’s tummy afterwards. The others took that as their cue and started licking as well.

“ **You’re sick…** ” Vos growled out. Overlord mouthed ‘thank you’ at Vos; not knowing what the smaller mech was saying, but knowing it had to be nothing complimentary. He was enjoying the reverse treatment too much to get annoyed by the runt anyway. He shivered when he felt a tongue lick over his inner thighs. That… felt a little too good.

“Want me to lick your valve love?” Tarn asked. Overlord saw Tarn lick up the fluid over his spike panel and had to use nearly all of his willpower not to open it. Megatron was smirking at him.

“Think he has some on his mouth boys.”

:: Don’t you dare! :: Overlord commed Starscream; knowing the red mech had said that.

:: Oh, but I do. :: Starscream answered. Kaon was closest.

“Not sure he does… but I’d better make sure, hadn’t I?” He felt the smaller mech’s lips against his own and his tongue sliding into his mouth.

:: Am I allowed to kiss back? :: He decided to ask; not wanting to break any rules.

:: Yes, you are. :: Megatron knew he’d kissed Starscream back when the seeker had made out with him. Overlord felt the smaller mech shiver when he kissed back. Kaon drew back and grinned at him.

“You’re really good at that! We have to do that again, alright?” Overlord nodded; fully aware that Kaon wouldn’t want to kiss him when he was sober. All four of them leaned back after that. Overlord was thankful; it was getting very hard to keep his panels closed.

“Now then, what do we want these five to do?” Starscream asked; already knowing what he wanted.

“Have you ever sung as a group?” Megatron asked; knowing Tarn could sing well, but not sure about the other four. He also knew he’d never to talk Tarn into singing unless he was drunk, so…

“Never sung in public before! Guess that makes this time the first, right?” Kaon grinned again. Starscream made a mental note to get the D.J.D. drunk more often; they were so much more fun!

“Yes it will. Go stand over there; I’ll project the lyrics on that wall.” Megatron pointed to where he’d set the mics up pre-emptively. The justice division made their way over there on all fours; much to everyone’s amusement. They weren’t surprised that four of them were a little wobbly on their feet. Vos looked a little apprehensive; because his Neo-Cybex was poor.

“Perform this for me.” Megatron clicked his fingers and the music started. Everyone had to try and hold back laughter when they heard the first few notes of the song played.

:: You are evil. :: Starscream remarked.

:: Thank you. :: Megatron sounded pleased.

“ _Oh baby, baby; how was I supposed to know? That something wasn’t right here._ ” Tarn sang the first line; making Starscream and Overlord laugh. This song had a female singer; the thought of the justice division singing it was too funny.

“ _Oh baby, baby; I shouldn’t have let you go. And now you’re out of sight yeah._ ” Kaon sang next; his voice also proving to be as good as his leader’s. _Shame they’ll only sing if they are drunk._ Megatron thought to himself. He didn’t care if Soundwave read this thought; the tape deck had to agree with him.

“ _Show me, how you want it to be._ ” Tesarus sang next; a little quieter.

“ _Tell me baby, cos I need to know now, oh because._ ” Helex sang, all of his team mates joining in with the chorus.

“ _My loneliness is killing me…_ ” Vos sang more quietly in Primal Vernacular; but it didn’t spoil the sound. It made it better.

“ _And I…_ ” He switched to Neo-Cybex; surprising any of them who hadn’t been paying attention.

“ _I must confess, I still believe._ ” All of them sang again; Vos singing solo on the next line.

“ _Still beh-reeb._ ”

“ _When I’m not with you I lose my mind._ ” All of them pointed at Megatron; much to the amusement of the rest of them.

“ _Give me a sign…_ ” Tarn sang solo; before leaning forward a little. It didn’t escape Megatron’s notice the other four had done the same.

“ _Hit me baby, one more time!_ ” All of them mimed smacking their rears; making Sixshot and Black Shadow laugh too. Megatron felt his cheeks heat slightly. They didn’t actually want him to do that, did they?

“ _Oh baby, baby; the reason I breathe is you._ ” Helex sang first; Tesarus singing next.

“ _Boy you got me blinded._ ” Both of them pointed at Megatron while singing.

“ _I’ll bet ya baby there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do._ ” Tarn winked and Megatron shivered a little.

“ _It’s not the way I planned it…_ ” Kaon sang, lifting both arms above his head, as though in surrender. Megatron wondered why the red mech was doing it, then promptly wished he hadn’t when he saw it. The red mech was shaking his hips in time with the beat.

“ _Show me…_ ” Vos sang; managing those two words.

“ _How you want it to be._ ” Both Helex and Tesarus took over the line.

“ _Tell me baby._ ” Kaon sang; still shaking his hips in time with the beat.

“ _Cos I need to know now, oh because…_ ” Tarn lifted his hands and Megatron felt dread rise in him when the other three who hadn’t already did the same.

“ _My loneliness is killing me…_ ” All of them sang again; Vos singing the next line in Neo-Cybex. All five of them were shaking their hips in time to the beat; prompting a wolf whistle from Starscream.

“ _And I…_ ”

“ _I must confess, I still believe._ ”

“ _Still believe._ ” Kaon sang this time; knowing Vos struggled with that word the first time.

“ _When I’m not with you I lose my mind._ ” All of them pointed at Megatron again.

“ _Give me a sign…_ ” Helex sang this time, all of them leaning forward again. Megatron knew what was coming next; and it almost made him wish he hadn’t chosen this song.

“ _Hit me baby, one more time!_ ” All of them mimed smacking their rears again. Soundwave could tell how awkward Megatron was and it made him slightly amused.

“Turn round and shake what Vector Sigma gave you!” Shockwave shouted; making Megatron more confused. Why would the logical mech be shouting that? It surprised him very little when the five of them obeyed; to wolf whistles and woops from the Phase Sixers. All of them turned back around; just in time to see the lyrics pop up on the wall.

“ _Oh baby, baby; how was I supposed to know?_ ” Tesarus and Helex turned rather confused looks on Megatron. He was regretting the song choice a little; or the way he asked them to sing.

“ _Oh pretty baby, I shouldn’t have let you go…_ ” Tarn, Kaon and Vos all reached out a hand to Megatron; as though reaching for him. Starscream and Overlord took the opportunity to nudge him forward. Megatron stumbled a little; but made his way towards where the justice division were performing.

“ _I must confess, that my loneliness is killing me now…_ ” All of them were singing again; their hands above their heads and their hips shaking along to the beat.

“ _Dontcha know I still believe? That you will be here, and give me a sign…_ ” All of them leaned forward again and Megatron felt a shiver starting.

“ _Hit me baby, one more time._ ” All of them mimed smacking their rears once more; but that wasn’t what made Megatron shiver. All of them had winked at him.

“ _My loneliness is killing me._ ” All of them were singing again but Megatron wasn’t paying much attention.

:: Listen to what they are telling you, Megatron. :: Starscream was smirking; he could tell.

:: They want you to spank ‘em! :: Megatron decided to ignore Black Shadow and Starscream. He had a feeling it would come back to bite him somehow.

“ _Give me a sign…_ ” All of them leaned forward again.

“ _Hit me baby, one more time!_ ” Megatron felt his cheeks heat at the dirty looks all of them turned on him.

:: They want you to spank them, Megatron. Why not do it? :: Overlord suggested; sounding very smug.

“ _I must confess…_ ” Tarn and Kaon sang together; Tesarus, Vos and Helex singing in the background.

“ _My loneliness is killing me._ ”

“ _That my loneliness is killing me now…”_

_“I must confess, I still believe._ ”

“ _Dontcha know I still believe?_ ”

“ _When I’m not with you I lose my mind._ ”

“ _That you will be here and…_ ”

“ _Give me a sign…_ ” All of them knelt down, adopting the pose they’d all performed for Black Shadow earlier. Everyone but Megatron seemed to think that was funny.

“ _Hit me baby, one more time!_ ” The music ended and the seven mechs who weren’t singing applauded.

:: Tell me you recorded that. :: Starscream commed Black Shadow.

:: Every second of it. :: Black Shadow smirked at him.

“You heard them Megatron.” Soundwave sounded rather pleased with himself; possibly because Megatron had dug himself into a hole.

“They want you to hit ‘em.” Sixshot sounded amused as well.

“No they don’t!” Megatron complained.

“Uh huh… hit… me…” Vos wiggled his rear; as though trying to tempt him.

“Ooh yeah! Please do!” Kaon lifted his rear up a little.

“Spank me, master!” Tarn squealed; much to the amusement of everyone else.

“You can hit me, baby. Any time!” Tesarus informed him; also shaking his rear.

“Yeah, spank me!” Helex shouted.

“Looks like they do, Megatron.” Shockwave would have been smirking if he had a normal face; Megatron could tell.

“Stand up, all five of you. I’m not going to spank you.” All five of them whined at what Megatron said; but stood up. Kaon appeared to be struggling to stay on his feet.

“There a quake or somethin?” He asked; wobbling back and forth.

“Nuh uh.” Vos shook his head.

“You’re just blind drunk.”

“Nuh uh, I can see just fine!” Kaon twirled around on the spot; as if to prove Sixshot wrong.

“Ever had your spike out in public?” Starscream asked; knowing what he wanted to see.

“You wanna see me naked?” Kaon asked; with a wink.

“I’d like to see all five of you naked.” Starscream nodded.

:: Starscream. :: Megatron growled.

:: What? You know for a fact that someone always asks for the new officers to get naked. :: _Soundwave asked me; after all, right before I made out with you._

“Hold your arms above your head for at least a minute when you retract the plates, boys.” Black Shadow held up his device. He wanted a good shot of them all naked. None of them seemed bothered that Black Shadow was likely holding a camera; and was about to have a naked photograph of them. There were five loud snicks as the plating retracted and all five of them lifted their hands up; as though in surrender. Megatron was pleased to note that none of the justice division had erect spikes. _Much easier for us to keep them off us if they aren’t aroused in the first place._ Megatron thought; averting his optics a little.

“It just me, or is it cold in here?” Kaon asked; shivering.

“Nuh uh, cold…” Vos answered; covering his spike with his hands.

“You can warm up a little by cuddling together.” Soundwave suggested; knowing the drunken mechs would probably paw at each other.

:: Soundwave; they are naked! ::

:: Didn’t mind so much when I was naked and making out with you, Megatron. :: Starscream interrupted with a smirk.

“Your hands aren’t allowed to touch each other’s equipment.” Soundwave added at Megatron’s request.

“Seriously, you’re going to make the D.J.D. cuddle?” Overlord looked disgusted and was glad he didn’t have to do that.

“What’s wrong with that?” Shockwave asked. Kaon had made his way over to Helex.

“Helex is hot!” Kaon shouted; prompting laughs. The other members all wrapped their arms over their larger team mate. Vos started to nuzzle Helex.

“Err guys… I’m a little un-come-fort-able with you all snug-ling me like this.” Helex’s face heated; possibly because he had the other four all nuzzling him.

“Thought you’d like this…” Tesarus rubbed Helex’s tummy.

“Nuh uh. I get too hot.”

“Oh you’re hot stuff alright…” Helex squawked at whatever his leader did. The watchers couldn’t tell; but saw his spike twitch.

“Seriously, get off!” Helex fidgeted and his team mates let go.

“You all warmer now?” Soundwave asked with amusement in his voice.

“Uh huh.” Vos nodded his head. Helex was the only one who looked uncomfortable; possibly because being touched like that made him too hot.

“Which of you lot wants a kiss?” Shockwave asked; not completely seriously. All five raised their hands.

“Good; because I’d like all of you to kiss me. Or nuzzle in Vos’ case. Anyone else want them to kiss you?” Shockwave asked.

:: Dare you to raise your hand Megatron. :: Starscream said, raising his hand.

:: No way. :: Megatron answered; folding his arms.

:: Double dare! :: Overlord shouted; also putting his hand up.

:: Make that triple dare! :: Black Shadow raised his hand.

:: You’re all idiots. :: Megatron raised his hand, much to the amusement of everyone else; and the joy of the D.J.D. Black Shadow passed his device to Sixshot; who looked a little confused by it.

“Seriously; I want pictures. Or video.” Black Shadow said offhandedly; making his way over to where Shockwave was standing. Megatron, Starscream and Overlord made their way over to him too.

“How we doin’ this?” Tesarus asked.

“You five stand in a circle; with your backs facing the middle. We’ll make our way around the circle.” Shockwave informed them.

:: Make out with them. Dare you. :: Starscream commed Megatron.

:: They are incapable of consent! :: Megatron would have shouted if that had been out loud.

:: I didn’t tell you to give them a handie, did I? :: Starscream feigned innocence.

:: Go on, they fragging idolise you. :: Black Shadow pointed out.

:: Besides… I want to know if you kissing them would make them go straight from six to midnight! :: Overlord laughed; standing before Kaon. Megatron glared at all three of them; before standing before Vos. He knelt down; being aware that Vos was much smaller than him.

“ **Love you.** ” Vos whispered; before nuzzling his mask against Megatron’s cheek. Megatron knew what that meant and shivered. He hoped he didn’t regret doing this; but leaned forward and put his lips against Vos’ mask where a mouth would be if the smaller mech had one. He felt the smaller mech shiver before he pulled back. Vos’ optics were wide; like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“ **Thank you.** ” Megatron whispered back; knowing how few would understand what Vos had said, even if they had heard it. The smaller mech looked overjoyed that someone had spoken to him in the old language; it was even better that it was his lord! Megatron glanced to his right and wished he hadn’t. Starscream and Tarn were joined at the lips and it was making him hotter than it had any right to. He saw both of them pull back and Starscream immediately turn to look at him.

“Enjoying the show, Megatron?” He asked. Tarn shivered, unable to believe his lord had seen him snogging someone else.

“Might get your turn next, lover-bot.” Starscream laughed at the eager look crossing Tarn’s features.

“Move around anticlockwise.” Shockwave sounded smug.

“Tease!” Tarn shouted; much to the sober bots’ amusement.

“You’ll get your turn, right after everyone else…” Starscream grinned, before moving towards Megatron and Vos. Megatron took that as his cue and moved around to beside Helex and Black Shadow.

“Do to him what you did to me.” Black Shadow smirked.

“You liked it then?” Helex hoped so; based on that look. He wanted to please his lord.

“Loved it, hot stuff.” Black Shadow headed off; leaving Megatron with Helex.

“Never fort I’d get to kiss you… you’re gorge-us and I’m…” Helex’s cheeks heated and Megatron felt the need to reassure him.

“You’re plenty handsome Helex. You’ll find someone who can appreciate that.” The smelter made a strange noise; like steam whistling out of an engine.

“Charmer. Come here n let me kiss you… wanna show my pre-she-ay-shun.” Megatron moved towards Helex and was a little surprised when he felt four hands on him, tugging forward. Megatron tilted his head in what he hoped was an inviting way. Helex closed the distance and Megatron felt the smelter mech’s tongue against his lips. Megatron opened his mouth and slid his tongue to meet Helex’s. Megatron could have sworn Helex moaned in response. Megatron felt his tongue get wrapped up in Helex’s tongue and was a little annoyed he couldn’t kiss back; especially since Helex’s tongue tip was doing interesting things to the inside of his mouth. He stroked the glass on his partner’s front; prompting a shiver. Helex pulled back; turning a filthy look on him.

“You do that to all the mechs you kiss or am I spe-shal?” Helex asked; sounding a little turned on. Megatron noted that Helex hadn’t gone ‘from six to midnight’ as Overlord had put it.

“Mechs tend to like being stroked. I’m no exception.” Megatron informed the smelter mech.

“Yeah but… that’s an ehro… ehrog… hot spot.” _I think he was trying to say erogenous_ _zone_. Megatron thought; pushing that thought out of his mind. Megatron spotted Overlord kissing Tarn and felt a little jealous. Starscream had made Overlord kiss everyone else and… that mech could kiss. If only he didn’t throw insults around… Megatron might have been interested in seeing what else those lips might be good for.

“All yours cutie.” Black Shadow informed Tesarus who shivered and… was he _blushing?_

:: Call him pet names. He gets all flustered and it’s cute! :: Black Shadow informed him. Megatron stood before the X-optic mech.

“Love you… wanna kiss you so bad…” Megatron thought about that for a moment.

“Wouldn’t mind a kiss from you, handsome.” Megatron saw the larger mech blush.

“Aw shucks… you don’t need to say that… I’m not…” Megatron silenced him with a kiss. It didn’t take long for Tesarus to kiss back but it was… _shy_. Like the larger mech was nervous of frightening him off. _What’s he frightened of?_ Megatron wasn’t nervous about giving others kisses. He figured Tesarus may have unnerved a smaller partner in the past. He pulled back seeing a flush coating the larger mech’s cheeks.

“You’re shy. Never would have guessed that… cutie.” Megatron saw Tesarus’ cheeks flame and his spike twitch. _He really does like being called pet names; doesn’t he? Never would have guessed he was a big softie…_ Megatron shuffled around; seeing Black Shadow standing before Tarn. Kaon looked up at him a little nervously.

“Can you kneel down? Can’t reach your lips up there…” Kaon asked. Megatron proceeded to kneel; putting his lips at perfect height.

“Hope I don’t balls this up…” Megatron heard Kaon mutter; obviously thinking he couldn’t hear. He felt the smaller mech’s hand on his cheek; before feeling his lips against his. Megatron kissed back; sliding his tongue into the red mech’s mouth. Kaon shivered; and Megatron felt a slight shock of electricity against his cheek. It didn’t hurt; just felt a little strange. He lightly stroked Kaon’s chest; forgetting what the smaller mech had said. Kaon snorted and pulled back; biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

“You wanna tickle me?” Kaon lifted his arms above his head; and Megatron realised where he’d touched. Right where the smaller mech said he was ticklish.

“Would rather you tickle my valve instead. Want me to lie down for you?” Kaon looked eagerly at him.

:: He is incapable of consent Megatron… :: Overlord teased his leader; knowing somehow that he was contemplating saying yes.

:: I’m aware of that. :: Megatron glared in Overlord’s general direction.

“Not right now. Perhaps later.” He answered; knowing full well ‘later’ wouldn’t come.

“I’ll hold you to that!” Kaon informed him; lowering his arms. Megatron stood up quickly and moved anticlockwise around the circle. He was certain he heard a small squeak.

“Master! Do you know how much I’ve longed to kiss you? And more…” Tarn muttered the last bit; but Megatron still heard him. Tarn’s spike appeared to be twitching at whatever fantasies his head was playing. Megatron didn’t want to know.

“Not going to turn one down.” Megatron informed him; and there was that small squeak again. Tarn stepped forward a little shyly; sneaking his arms around his lord’s shoulders.

“This alright?” He asked; his cheeks turning crimson. _This isn’t just a small fantasy to him; is it? He truly wants you… in every way possible._ Megatron realised. He also realised that Tarn probably would go ‘from six to midnight’ if he kissed back.

“Are you going to kiss me?” He asked; a little impatiently. Tarn shivered and Megatron could swear he felt the other mech’s spike twitch against him. _Definitely going to go from six to midnight if I kiss him back._ Megatron shut his optics and then felt surprisingly soft lips against his own. A tongue slid out against his and he decided that seemed like a cue. He slid out his own tongue into Tarn’s mouth and the purple mech moaned in pleasure. His lord was kissing him! There was a string of lubricant joining their lips when they pulled back and… Megatron heard a few woops and wolf whistles.

“Take me. Do you what you want to me, master.” Tarn stepped back and Megatron realised he was right.

“Not while you’re drunk Tarn. Perhaps when you are sober.” _He is a good kisser after all._ Megatron added in his head.

:: Knew you liked him. :: Starscream teased.

:: That kiss was hot! :: Black Shadow informed him.

“I get it; you want me to get on my knees and beg.” Tarn looked to be about to kneel down; much to the sober mechs’ amusement.

“I’m not fragging you. Not today.” Megatron informed the purple mech. Tarn looked disappointed.

“Sure I can’t tempt you?” Megatron felt Tarn take his hand and start to manoeuvre it between his legs. Starscream and Overlord started laughing out loud at how desperate Tarn was to frag Megatron.

:: Not allowed to perform sexual acts; Megatron! :: Overlord taunted him; knowing what Tarn was going to do.

:: Even if he’s begging for them! :: Sixshot joined in; also finding it hilarious.

“Tarn, stop. I’ve said no!” Megatron shouted. Tarn dropped his hand and looked a little upset.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to overstep.” Tarn looked like he wanted to kneel down and beg for forgiveness.

“Are you lot sleepy?” Starscream asked; before Tarn could try and cajole their leader any more. Not that it wouldn’t be amusing, but… the justice division had done something for each of them and had passed the test. Not that they would find out until the morning. Tesarus yawned; as if reminded of this fact by Starscream asking.

“Not sure I could find my way to my room right now… unless one of you would like to take me to yours?” Kaon’s offer went unanswered at a glare from Megatron. No convincing them into sexual acts; they are drunk and can’t give consent. That hasn’t changed. Sixshot lay down on the ground.

“This is pretty comfortable, cubs.” He informed them; knowing that the new recruits were always left in the room to recharge off the high grade. All of them proceeded to lie down beside him. It made a grin cross a few mech’s features when they saw all five of the justice division yawn simultaneously.

“You’re right…” Kaon trailed off; yawning again. It didn’t take long for the five of them to doze off.

“Care to help me with something, Overlord?” Starscream commed him the details. Overlord smirked.

“Of course. After I get some fluid to cover them in. Anyone else want to help?” Sixshot and Black Shadow agreed. Megatron, Soundwave and Shockwave walked off; not wanting to know what horror the D.J.D. were about to have inflicted on them.

XxX

Kaon onlined first; blinking at the bright lights. A pounding started in his head and he whined in pain.

“The frag did I do last night…” He muttered quietly. His mouth felt like a turbofox had had a good roll around inside it. Kaon realised two things right then. He had his spike out and his chest and thighs were covered in some sort of sticky fluid. And he had recharged on the floor like an animal. Kaon groaned again. He heard four answering groans from nearby.

“That musta been some party…” Tesarus grumbled; covering his face.

“ **Shame I don’t remember all that much of it.** ” Vos curled up.

“Pretty sure I snogged Megatron though.” Helex grinned.

“What are we even covered in? It’s not…” Tarn felt his cheeks heat. The others did too at the implication.

“I hope not! If I’d fragged anyone last night I’d like to remember who and how good it was.” Helex informed the others; putting a hand over his crotch. The others did the same.

“You aren’t wearing your mask, Tarn.” Tesarus informed his leader. Tarn looked nervously around for it.

“Leave it off for now.” Kaon put his hand on Tarn’s.

“Pretty…” Vos informed him; delighting at the blush covering Tarn’s cheeks.

“Fine. It still begs the question where it went though.” Tarn looked around; noting a bar over the other side of the room. He got up; wobbling a little from the high grade still coursing through his system. He felt something around his neck and lightly stroked it. _A collar… like the ones that might be put on a pet…_ Tarn felt humiliation begin to course through his lines. He couldn’t remember what he’d done last night. He removed the collar and felt his F.I.M. chip engage to burn off the last of the high grade. The pounding in his head vanished with it.

“You might want to take off the collars around your necks.” Tarn informed the others; who quickly found the aforementioned collars. There were four sighs of relief as the collars hit the floor; pleased the headache had gone.

“I remember I downed 5 shots of something but it gets fuzzy after that.” Tesarus shrugged; not sure he wanted to remember what happened.

“Do we tell him?” Kaon asked; sounding amused as he pointed at their leader. Tesarus and Helex both bit their lips so they didn’t start laughing.

“ **We’d better. Better he founds out now than from someone else.** ” Vos sounded like he was trying very hard not to laugh too. Someone had wrote on Tarn’s back ‘Insert here Megatron’ with an arrow pointing to his rear. The four of them made their way over to the bar; where Tarn’s mask was, alongside a data-pad. Tarn picked the data-pad up.

“Ah, you came over to see if I’d found it.”

“No Tarn; we came over to tell you someone wrote on your back.” Tarn asked Helex what; and Tesarus told him. Tarn’s cheeks flamed.

“I really hope no one found out about _that_ …”

“You mean your crush on Megatron to the moons and back?” Tesarus teased; Tarn moving to cover his mouth. Tarn turned his attention back to the data-pad. It had a note on the screen; which Tarn read out.

“Good morning officers; you passed your initiations, congratulations! If you are curious what exactly you did last night, tap here.” ‘Here’ being a red threatening button on the screen.

“Do we have a look?” Tarn asked; sounding rather nervous. The others looked nervously at the screen; but decided it would be better they found out from this than someone else. All of them watched; feeling masses of humiliation wash over them seeing exactly what they did. At the end of the previous night’s highlight reel was an image of them all passed out on the floor with fluid covering their thighs and chests. None of them wanted to know what that fluid was; but it looked like transfluid.

“We’d best close our panels and get to the wash racks to get the mess off.” Tarn suggested; the others agreeing with him. They all quickly discovered a problem with this.

“ **Overlord did this; I’ll bet. Whatever that stuff is has jammed the mechanisms.** ” Vos grumbled. The plates wouldn’t even move far enough out so they could manually close them.

“Someone really wanted us to do the walk of shame this morning.” Tesarus shivered; heat colouring his cheeks.

“Pretty sure that’s interfacing, but…” Helex glanced away from the others.

“It’ll be pretty shameful walking through the halls with our spikes out.” Kaon finished.

“Well, the alternative is hiding in here all day. And I’m pretty sure this room gets used by bots during the day.” Tarn slid his mask on; so at least other bots wouldn’t see his blushes. It didn’t surprise any of them that there were plenty of bots around when they left the room. It also didn’t surprise them that all of them seemed to find amusement in their fates.

“Have fun last night boys?” A voice asked.

“Sure looks like it!” Another answered; before laughing with its friend. All of them felt their cheeks heat. _Don’t sprint; they’ll win if we sprint._ Tarn thought to himself; trying very hard not cringe at the burning embarrassment sluicing through his lines at being laughed at.

“Oh Primus! Look at that!” A voice shouted from behind them; informing them that _all_ of them had something crude written on their backs.

“Never mind Megatron… _I’ll_ insert something in it!” Tarn shivered; that had to be directed at him. _Don’t run. Don’t run…_ He kept thinking; even though the teasing was getting rather nasty.

:: If we bolt; they win. :: Kaon remarked; looking like he wanted to do just that.

:: If we don’t, we get ridiculed for longer. :: As did Tesarus.

“Go on, run off to the wash racks… lightweights.” That voice was Starscream; who they knew right then had set them up.

“Before I tell them all what you did last night.” Overlord smirked. The looks of terror said it all. _No fragging way!_ All five of them thought; immediately running off towards the wash racks. Overlord and Starscream high-fived before heading off to find their jobs for the day; feeling very satisfied with a job well done. Starscream had claimed a picture of his handiwork as they darted off; perfect for blackmail should he get in trouble.

**Author's Note:**

> Kaon has gold optics because... I think he'd look pretty with them (and this is set before he burnt them out). Tarn totally smacked Helex's aft when they were cuddling. That blackmail is exactly how Starscream got his name off The List, of course. In case it isn’t apparent; the D.J.D. didn’t frag each other (they passed out drunk), Overlord just wanted them to think they did. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


End file.
